Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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