I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
When are your genitals available?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
