Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
