the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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