Define "chronic" masturbator.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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