Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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