i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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