when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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