you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
