In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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