Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
