I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
