So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
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Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
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all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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