He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
