I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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