so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
