Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
