you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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