i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
bring money and cleavage
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
