I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize