operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
