it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
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