dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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