And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
