yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
