I love black thongs
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
i out mim tonsoeep
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
