I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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