she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
