Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
