dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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