a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
