don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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