why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
