Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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