There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
