Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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