oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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