I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
