My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
