So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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