butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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