woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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