Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
