About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
