If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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