Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
