Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
