Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
