Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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