I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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