based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize