I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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