I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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