And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Randomize
