He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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